You have been practicing for 10/15/20 years and you are not there yet? I do not mean 10-minute mindfulness sessions before breakfast or meditation as a stress reliever or social pastime (although they are good in their own right). You are a retreat junkie, you spend a lot of time practicing, you realize you have indeed changed, you might have even had peak awakening experiences, but you remain attached to a particular self. Why is that?